Don’t you miss your colleagues?
During my recent client visits in Belgium, I was asked the same question surprisingly often:
“Don’t you miss your colleagues, now that you work as a Virtual Assistant from abroad?”
The question was sincere and well-intended. And yes, it was genuinely nice to meet clients in person. It helps you understand each other better and strengthens collaboration. But the honest answer was always the same: no, I don’t miss it.
That answer tends to surprise people.
Not because they doubt my work, but because they start from a different way of thinking.
working as a VA
The underlying assumption
For many people, collaboration is still closely linked to physical presence. Working in the same space, seeing each other work, walking over for a quick question. It feels familiar. But that feeling says very little about how effective collaboration actually is.
I work remotely every day via Teams, WhatsApp and email. Communication is clear, efficient and free of noise. Not despite the distance, but because there is structure. Clear agreements, explicit expectations and consistent follow-up make all the difference. Distance itself is rarely the problem. Lack of clarity is.
remote working abroad
Projection plays a bigger role than we realise
People often unconsciously project what they would miss in my situation. For them, colleagues are not only functional, but also social. They provide rhythm, confirmation, distraction or connection. That is not a judgement, it is simply how they work.
But that does not mean everyone fulfils those needs in the same way. I do not rely on my work as my only source of connection, and I do not need constant live interaction to function well. That does not make me distant or detached. It makes me independent.
asynchronous communication
Asynchronous communication is underestimated
Remote collaboration is often underestimated because asynchronous communication is misunderstood. When remote work feels difficult, it is rarely because people do not see each other. It is usually caused by vague agreements, unspoken expectations and a lack of ownership.
“Remote” then becomes the easy scapegoat, while the real issue is working without structure. Asynchronous communication works extremely well when tasks are clear, responsibilities are defined and decisions are documented instead of living in people’s heads. That requires maturity and discipline. Not everyone enjoys that or has experience with it.
virtual assistant
Trust without visibility feels uncomfortable for some
Trust also plays a major role. For some people, physical presence feels like a form of reassurance. If you can see someone working, it feels safe. In my collaborations, trust is not based on visibility but on predictability.
My clients know what to expect from me. They know tasks are followed up, agreements are honoured and I am reachable when needed. That builds trust faster than daily presence, even if it is less visible. Trust is not built by being seen, but by doing what you say you will do.
remote work
The employee mindset is hard to let go
Many of these assumptions stem from an employee mindset. In traditional employment, colleagues, social interaction and work context are often intertwined. As a self-employed professional, that dynamic is different. My clients are not my colleagues, and my work is not my entire social life.
For those who have never made that shift, it can be hard to imagine that this does not create a sense of emptiness. For me, it does not.
remote collaboration
Live contact is a bonus, not a requirement
Does that mean in-person contact has no value? Of course not. Sitting around the same table from time to time deepens conversations and makes nuances clearer more quickly. But it is not a prerequisite for good collaboration. It is an added value, not the foundation. And that distinction matters.
online collaboration
Why remote collaboration is still seen as “difficult”
Because many people rely on external structure, confuse connection with presence and mistake efficiency for coldness. Autonomy is quickly interpreted as loneliness. In reality, remote work mainly exposes how someone is used to working.
I do not miss colleagues.
I do not miss an office.
I do not miss constant live interaction.
What I do have is focus, calm and collaborations built on trust and results.
That is not accidental. It is a conscious choice.
And if that still feels hard to imagine, that says nothing about how I work, but everything about the framework you were taught to work in.
Virtual assistant
